A few of my favorite quotes:

by Katie Bryan on August 29th, 2011

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
--Groucho Marx (1890 - 1977)

All the great things are simple, and many can be expressed in a single word: freedom; justice; honor; duty; mercy; hope. --Sir Winston Churchill

America has never been united by blood or birth or soil. We are bound by ideals that move us beyond our backgrounds, lift us above our interests and teach us what it means to be citizens. Every child must be taught these principles. Every citizen must uphold them. And every immigrant, by embracing these ideals, makes our country more, not less, American.
--George W. Bush

OK, so what's the speed of dark ? --Steven Wright

Everyone hears what you say. Friends listen to what you say. Best friends listen to what you don't say. --Unknown

Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the Titanic who waved off the dessert cart.
--Erma Bombeck

No smile is as beautiful as the one that struggles through tears. --Unknown

Everybody can be great because anybody can serve. You don't have to have college degree to serve. You don't have to make your subject and verb agree to serve. You only need a heart full of grace. A soul generated by love. --Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. (1929-1968)

Smile at each other; smile at your wife, smile at your husband, smile at your children, smile at each other- it doesn't matter who it is- and that will help you to grow up in greater love for each other. --Mother Teresa

Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died
--Steven Wright

Once you can accept the universe as matter expanding into nothing that is something, wearing stripes with plaid comes easy. --Albert Einstein

I was so poor growing up ... if I wasn't a boy ...I'd have nothing to play with. --Rodney Dangerfield

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. --Robert A. Heinlein

By all means marry. If you get a good wife you will become happy, and if you get a bad one you will become a philosopher. --Socrates (470-399 B.C.)

The only love worthy of a name is unconditional. --John Powell

The mere sense of living is joy enough. --Emily Dickinson

A man's got to do what a man's got to do. A woman must do what he can't. --Rhonda Hansome

Every time I close the door on reality it comes in through the windows. --Jennifer Unlimited

A priest, a minister and a rabbi walk into a bar. The bartender says...What is this, a joke?

If love is blind, what is the purpose of lingerie? --Unknown

Are you sure the power is off? --Unknown Famous Last Words

Don't be so superstitious. -- Unknown Famous Last Words

He's probably just hibernating. - Unknown Famous Last Words

Hey, watch this! -- Unknown Famous Last Words

I'm making a citizen's arrest. -- Unknown Famous Last Words

It's probably just a rash. -- Unknown Famous Last Words

That stuff only happens in the movies. -- Unknown Famous Last Words

These are the good kind of mushrooms. -- Unknown Famous Last Words

Nine out of ten people like chocolate. The tenth person always lies.. --John Q. Tullius

My parents really hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio. --Unknown

If your parents never had children, chances are you won't either. --Dick Cavett

All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them sooner. --Red Skelton

The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother. --Henry Ward Beecher

Every man dies. Not every man really lives. --William Wallace From the movie Braveheart

In a world of pollution, profanity, adolescence, zits, broccoli, racism, ozone depletion, sexism, stupid guys, and PMS, why the hell do people still tell me to have a nice day? --Unknown

It's so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and then don't say it.
--Sam Levenson

You know your children are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they're going. --P. J. O'Rourke

In raising my children, I have lost my mind but found my soul. --Lisa T. Shepherd

Getting married for sex is like buying a 747 for the free peanuts. --Jeff Foxworthy

Words make you think a thought. Music makes you feel a feeling. A song makes you feel a thought. --E.Y. Harburg (Edgar Yipsel) (1898 - 1981)

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