by Katie Bryan on August 29th, 2011

Whatever: Real World Book Descriptions

This isn’t gossip, but take a look at John Scalzi’s blog on how Publisher’s Lunch deals should really read - funny but sadly true, if you ask me.

Here’s the link to the blog, to give credit where credit is due...

And here’s the actual excerpt: (thanks John Scalzi!!)

The Real World Book Deal Descriptions

Now, if you’ve read the previous entry about Noreascon, you may have come away thinking that most of what writers do at conventions is drinking and carousing and then possibly drinking some more. And you’d be right. However, I don’t want you to think that nothing of value was accomplished there -- or indeed that nothing of value can be accomplished even while drinking.

As proof of this, it gives me great pride to introduce to the world the Real World Book Deal Descriptions, as formulated at Noreascon 4 at the Sheraton Hotel Lobby Bar by a group of only somewhat inebriated writers including Scott Westerfeld, Justine Larbalestier, Kelly Link, James Patrick Kelly, Lauren McLaughlin, Eliani Torres, Shara Zoll and your humble narrator. A couple others were there as well (if you were there for it, feel free to chime in in the comment thread), but the point is, this is group wisdom, based on decades of collective writing experience.

Now, some background. One of the most widely-read e-mail lists in publishing is Publisher’s Lunch, in which various book deals are announced with certain euphemisms to describe what sort of money was involved. For example, book deals that get the writer up to $100,000 are known as "a nice deal." $100K to $250 is "a good deal," and so on up past the $1 million point, at which you have "a major deal." And well, yes, if you’re up at that point, it certainly is a major deal, you bastard.

Thing is, for most writers (and I include myself here), about 80% of those levels never get used: The vast majority of book publishing deals are "nice." However, using one adjective to describe both the $1000 book deal someone gets from a teeny university press and the $90,000 book deal from the major New York publisher is obviously ridiculous. A $1K book deal and a $90K book deal are quite clearly not equivalent; one is, oh, 90 times better than the other. If only for sheer honesty’s sake, there needs to be book deal rankings that accurately reflect what deals really get done and the financial quality of those deals for the writer.

So, after another round of beers, this is what we came up with.

$0 to $3,000: A Shitty Deal. Because that’s what it is, my friends. Possibly the only thing worse than a shitty deal is no deal at all. Possibly.

$3,000 to $5,000: A Contemptible Deal. The deal you get when your publisher has well and truly got your number, and it is low.

$5,000 to $10,000: A "Meh" Deal. It’s not great, you know. But you can pay some bills. Get a few of these, and a tolerant spouse with a regular income, and you can tell your day job to piss off. This year, anyway.

$10,000 to $20,000: A Not Bad Deal. Note that "not bad" here should be said with a slight appreciative rise of the eyebrows and a small approving nod -- this is the level at which the money begins to look not embarrassing both to writers and non-writers. A couple of these, and you’ll definitely be punting the day job (I did, anyway).

$20,000 to $100,000: A "Shut Up!" Deal. This needs to be said in the same enviously admiring vocal tone as a teenage girl might use to her girlfriend who is showing off the delicious new pumps she got at Robinsons-May for 30% off, or the vocal tone (same idea, lower register) Jim Kelly used when one of our number admitted to having at least a couple of deals in this range. With this kind of money, you don’t even need a supportive spouse to avoid the Enforced Top Ramen Diet (although, you know. Having one doesn’t hurt). But it’s not so much that the other writers actively begin to hate you.

$100,000 and above: "I’m Getting the Next Round." Because if you’re at this level, you can buy and sell all the other writers at the table. Get ‘em a friggin’ beer, for God’s sake (ironically, this is the only level not thought up at the bar, but in the cold hard light of the next morning, by Shara Zoll).

Think how much more interesting and useful the Publisher’s Lunch would be if these rankings were used:

"Joe Wannabe’s THE FIRST NOVEL IS THE MOST ANNOYING, a coming-of-age story about a not particularly interesting 20-something graduate student who is eventually dumped by his girlfriend for being a mopey, emo-listening sack of crap, to Random Small Press, in a shitty deal."

"Susan Midlist’s THE MARY SUE CRITICAL MASS, the story of a world thrown into chaos when large numbers of bookish women spontaneously appear at critical events of historical importance and passively-aggressively demand to play a role, to Not Insignificant Genre Press, in a meh deal."

"Neil Popular’s A DARK UNIVERSE FULL OF CASH, a tale of a man who wakes up one morning with fame and fortune but then must tolerate being accosted at random intervals by strangers who want to be his best friends and/or to have him blurb their own work, to Big Respected Publisher. He’ll get the next round."

See, that’s much better.
by John Scalzi

by Katie Bryan on August 29th, 2011

One and only

Antarctica is the only continent without reptiles or snakes.

Australia is the only country that is also a continent.

Baskin Robbins once made ketchup ice cream. This was the only vegetable flavored ice cream produced.

Elvis Presley made only one television commercial - an ad for "Southern Maid Doughnuts" that ran in 1954.

Giraffes are the only animals born with horns. Both males and females are born with bony knobs on the forehead.

Hawaii has the only royal palace in the United States - Iolani.

Hawaii is the only US state that grows coffee.

Honey is the only food that does not spoil. Honey found in the tombs of Egyptian pharaohs has been tasted by archaeologists and found edible.

In 1969, "Midnight Cowboy" became the first and only X-rated production to win the Academy Award for Best Picture. (Its rating has since been changed to R.)

Maine is the only state in the United States whose name is just one syllable.

Mercury is the only metal that is liquid at room temperature.

Only one person ever won an Oscar by a write-in. In 1934 and 1935, write-in votes were permitted and Hal Mohr won an Oscar for Cinematography in 1935 for his work on "A Midsummer Night’s Dream" as a write-in. 1935 was the last year such votes were permitted.

Q is the only letter in the alphabet that does not appear in the name of any state of the United States.

Swans are the only birds with penises.

Teeth are the only parts of the human body that can’t repair themselves.

The Beatles held the Top Five spots on the April 4th, 1964 Billboard singles chart. To date, they’re the only band that has ever accomplished that.

The bloodhound is the only animal whose evidence is admissible in an American court.

The city of Chicago has the only post office in the world where you can drive your car through.

The hummingbird is the only bird that can fly backwards.

The king of hearts is the only king without a moustache on a standard playing card.

The number 4 is the only number in the English language that has the same number of letters in its name as its meaning.

The only active diamond mine in the United States is in Arkansas.

The only country in the world that has a Bill of Rights for Cows is India.

The only father and son to hit back-to-back home runs in a major league baseball game? Ken Griffey, Jr., and his father, Ken Griffey, Sr., both of the Seattle Mariners, in a game against the California Angels on September 14, 1990.

The only lizard that has a voice is the Gecko.

The only one of his sculptures that Michelangelo signed was the "The Pieta," completed in 1500.

The only river that flows both north and south of the equator is the Congo. It crosses the equator twice.

The only rock that floats in water is pumice.

The only wood used by famed London cabinetmaker Thomas Chippendale was mahogany.

The pecan tree is the only naturally growing nut tree in North American. It is native to the Texas, Mississippi and Mexico River Valleys.

The penguin is the only bird that can swim, but not fly. It is also the only bird that walks upright.

The Virginia opossum is the only marsupial (pouched mammal) indigenous to North America.

There is only one Q in a Scrabble game.

There’s only one city in the United States named merely "Beach." It is found in North Dakota, which is a land-locked state.

Uranus is the only planet that rotates on its side.

Zsa Zsa Gabor was the first - and only - recipient of a Golden Globe Award for "Most Glamorous Actress." She won the peculiar award in 1958. The category was deleted thereafter.

by Katie Bryan on August 29th, 2011

Celebrity deaths

Duane Allman – musician --- 1971 --- motorcycle accident.

John Jacob Astor -- 1912 --- drowned with the "unsinkable" Titanic.

Attila the Hun -- 453 AD --- bled to death from a nosebleed on his wedding night.

Sir Francis Bacon --1626 --- pneumonia. He was experimenting with freezing a chicken by stuffing it with snow.

Bridget Bishop -- 1692 --- 1st of the witches hung in Salem, Massachusetts. She was executed on June 10. -- (Salem witches: Almost 150 "witches" were arrested, but only 31 were tried in 1692. All 31, including 6 males, were sentenced to death. Nineteen were hanged, 2 died in jail, and 1 man was slowly pressed to death under heavy stones. None were burned.)

Anne Boleyn -- 1536 --- beheaded for adultery by request of Henry VIII.

Neil Bonnett - race car driver -- 1994 --- car crash, killed during practice at the Daytona International Speedway.

Calamity Jane (Martha Jane Canary) -- 1903 --- pneumonia following a bout of heavy drinking.

Catherine the Great - Empress of Russia -- 1796 --- a stroke, while going to the bathroom.

Cleopatra -- 30 BC --- suicide by poison, supposedly from a venomous snake.

Christopher Columbus -- 1506 --- rheumatic heart disease.

Davy Crockett - US frontiersman -- 1836 --- killed defending the Alamo. -- (Actually, Crockett survived the assault along with a few others, but was bayoneted to death by the Mexicans after they took the fort.)

Marie Curie - chemist, discovered Radium -- 1934 --- leukemia, caused by exposure to radiation.

Jeffrey Dahmer - mass murderer -- 1994 --- beaten to death with a broomstick by a fellow inmate at the Columbia Correctional Institute.

James Dean (James Byron) -- 1955 --- car crash.

John Dillinger - (1st number one criminal on FBI’s most wanted list.) -- 1934 --- killed by FBI agent Melvin Purvis.

Jessica Dubroff - (age 7) -- 1996 --- plane crash - attempting to become the youngest pilot to fly cross-country.

Marvin Gaye (Marvin Pentz Gay, Jr.) – singer -- 1984 --- murdered on his birthday by his father.

Henry Gunther -- 1918 --- last soldier killed in WWI.

Mata Hari (Gertrud Margarete Zelle) - World War I spy -- 1917 --- executed by firing squad, she refused a blindfold and threw a kiss to the executioners.

Ernest Miller Hemingway -- 1961 --- suicide with shotgun.

Margaux Hemingway (Margot Hemingway) -- 1996 --- suicide, overdose of a sedative. She was the fifth person in her family to commit suicide.

Wild Bill Hickok (James Butler Hickok) -- 1876 --- shot in the back of the head while playing poker.

Buddy Holly (Charles Hardin Holley) -- 1959 --- died in airplane crash with Ritchie Valens & the Big Bopper. The name of the plane was "American Pie."

Leslie Howard (Leslie Stainer) - actor (Ashley Wilkes in Gone With the Wind) -- 1943 --- his civilian plane was shot down by German fighter planes during WWII.

Rock Hudson (Roy Harold Scherer, Jr.) -- 1985 --- died of AIDS. He was the 1st major public figure to announce he had AIDS.

Joan of Arc (Jeanne Darc) -- 1431 --- burned at the stake for heresy and witchcraft.

Brian Jones - musician, one-time Rolling Stone -- 1969 --- drowned in his swimming pool while drunk and on drugs.

Mary Jo Kopechne -- 1969 --- drowned when the car she was a passenger in, driven by Sen. Edward Kennedy, fell off a bridge on Chappaquiddick Island, MA.

Brandon Lee – actor -- 1993 --- shot by a gun firing blanks, while filming the movie "The Crow." His missing scenes were later filled-in by computer animation.

John Lennon -- 1980 --- shot to death by a mentally ill fan.

Liberace (Wladziu Valentino Liberace) -- 1987 --- AIDS.

Carole Lombard (Jane Alice Peters) -- 1942 --- plane crash.

Christopher Marlowe – author -- 1593 --- stabbed in a tavern brawl in Deptford, England.

Butterfly McQueen (Thelma Lincoln McQueen) -- 1995 --- died of burns received when lighting kerosene heater in her apartment.

Glenn Miller - "big band" musician -- 1944 --- listed as Missing In Action, was serving as a Major in the Army Air Force Band when his plane went down over the English Channel.

Margaret Mitchell - author, Gone With the Wind -- 1949 --- On August 11, she was crossing an Atlanta street on her way to the theater when she was hit by a speeding cab. She died of her injuries five days later.

Florence Nightingale -- 1910 --- heart failure after 53 years as an invalid.

Edgar Allan Poe -- 1849 --- cerebral edema following a drinking binge. (The September 1996 Maryland Medical Journal published a study that showed Poe’s symptoms suggest rabies instead.)

Alexander Pushkin - Russian author -- 1837 --- killed in duel.

Keith Relf - musician (The Yardbirds)-- 1976 --- electrocuted playing guitar in the bathtub.

Sir William Wallace - Scottish rebel -- 1305 --- executed by being hanged for a short time, taken down still breathing and having his bowels torn out and burned. His head was then struck off, and his body divided into quarters, the punishment known as ‘hanged, drawn and quartered’. His head was placed on a pole on London Bridge, his right arm above the bridge in Newcastle, his left arm was sent to Berwick, his right foot and limb to Perth and his left quarter to Aberdeen where it was buried in what is now the wall at St. Machars Cathedral.

Tennessee Williams – writer -- 1983 --- choked to death on a nose spray bottle cap that accidentally dropped into his mouth while he was using the spray. He was 71.

Dennis Wilson - rock musician (The Beach Boys) -- 1983 --- drowned after diving from his yacht in the harbor at Marina Del Ray, California.

by Katie Bryan on August 29th, 2011

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
--Groucho Marx (1890 - 1977)

All the great things are simple, and many can be expressed in a single word: freedom; justice; honor; duty; mercy; hope. --Sir Winston Churchill

America has never been united by blood or birth or soil. We are bound by ideals that move us beyond our backgrounds, lift us above our interests and teach us what it means to be citizens. Every child must be taught these principles. Every citizen must uphold them. And every immigrant, by embracing these ideals, makes our country more, not less, American.
--George W. Bush

OK, so what's the speed of dark ? --Steven Wright

Everyone hears what you say. Friends listen to what you say. Best friends listen to what you don't say. --Unknown

Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the Titanic who waved off the dessert cart.
--Erma Bombeck

No smile is as beautiful as the one that struggles through tears. --Unknown

Everybody can be great because anybody can serve. You don't have to have college degree to serve. You don't have to make your subject and verb agree to serve. You only need a heart full of grace. A soul generated by love. --Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. (1929-1968)

Smile at each other; smile at your wife, smile at your husband, smile at your children, smile at each other- it doesn't matter who it is- and that will help you to grow up in greater love for each other. --Mother Teresa

Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died
--Steven Wright

Once you can accept the universe as matter expanding into nothing that is something, wearing stripes with plaid comes easy. --Albert Einstein

I was so poor growing up ... if I wasn't a boy ...I'd have nothing to play with. --Rodney Dangerfield

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. --Robert A. Heinlein

By all means marry. If you get a good wife you will become happy, and if you get a bad one you will become a philosopher. --Socrates (470-399 B.C.)

The only love worthy of a name is unconditional. --John Powell

The mere sense of living is joy enough. --Emily Dickinson

A man's got to do what a man's got to do. A woman must do what he can't. --Rhonda Hansome

Every time I close the door on reality it comes in through the windows. --Jennifer Unlimited

A priest, a minister and a rabbi walk into a bar. The bartender says...What is this, a joke?

If love is blind, what is the purpose of lingerie? --Unknown

Are you sure the power is off? --Unknown Famous Last Words

Don't be so superstitious. -- Unknown Famous Last Words

He's probably just hibernating. - Unknown Famous Last Words

Hey, watch this! -- Unknown Famous Last Words

I'm making a citizen's arrest. -- Unknown Famous Last Words

It's probably just a rash. -- Unknown Famous Last Words

That stuff only happens in the movies. -- Unknown Famous Last Words

These are the good kind of mushrooms. -- Unknown Famous Last Words

Nine out of ten people like chocolate. The tenth person always lies.. --John Q. Tullius

My parents really hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio. --Unknown

If your parents never had children, chances are you won't either. --Dick Cavett

All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them sooner. --Red Skelton

The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother. --Henry Ward Beecher

Every man dies. Not every man really lives. --William Wallace From the movie Braveheart

In a world of pollution, profanity, adolescence, zits, broccoli, racism, ozone depletion, sexism, stupid guys, and PMS, why the hell do people still tell me to have a nice day? --Unknown

It's so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and then don't say it.
--Sam Levenson

You know your children are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they're going. --P. J. O'Rourke

In raising my children, I have lost my mind but found my soul. --Lisa T. Shepherd

Getting married for sex is like buying a 747 for the free peanuts. --Jeff Foxworthy

Words make you think a thought. Music makes you feel a feeling. A song makes you feel a thought. --E.Y. Harburg (Edgar Yipsel) (1898 - 1981)

by Katie Bryan on August 25th, 2011

Labrador retriever Hawkeye lays by the casket during the funeral of his owner, Navy SEAL Jon Tumilson, 35, on August 19, 2011. Tumilson was one of 38 killed on August 6 when a rocket-propelled grenade took out a U.S. Chinook helicopter in Afghanistan.

Read the full story HERE

By Scott Stump contributor

by Katie Bryan on August 25th, 2011

In the 70's, during the Vietnam War (Conflict) I had a POW / MIA bracelet. I wore it for years, and one day found it gone. I had lost it. A few years ago, I looked on the internet and actually found the person who now has the bracelet I wore. The name on it? Captain Jeffrey C. Lemon. USAF. I've also found out that you, Captain Lemon, were not a POW, but MIA.
Here's your bio, and I salute you. Your mission is complete. And, Jeff...You're not just a name on the wall to me.

by Katie Bryan on August 25th, 2011

by Katie Bryan on August 25th, 2011

by Katie Bryan on August 24th, 2011

I can't imagine anyone not loving this.

by Katie Bryan on August 24th, 2011

The American Soldier. DAMN STRAIGHT.

by Katie Bryan on August 24th, 2011

by Katie Bryan on August 24th, 2011

Mark Schultz sings this incredible song to honor American Soldiers serving their country around the world. It was nominated as music video of the year in the 2004 Dove Awards and won the Barbara Rosser Award for the best film produced by the Department of Defense in 2004- 2006. It also served as the rallying point for the US Army's "Be Safe" campaign.

by Katie Bryan on August 24th, 2011

by Katie Bryan on August 24th, 2011

by Katie Bryan on August 24th, 2011

And I like the video. Enjoy.

by Katie Bryan on August 24th, 2011

One symbol of our great nation.

by Katie Bryan on August 24th, 2011

I was a KISS fan before KISS was even popular. I'm a little older now, but so are they : ) Gene Simmons still has a bit of a presence and he's done a great job with this one.

by Katie Bryan on August 24th, 2011

by Katie Bryan on August 23rd, 2011

D'Ann and Company at Word Wranglers HERE

Jennifer LoweryHERE


Trish McCallan HERE

Christine Warner HERE

by Katie Bryan on August 22nd, 2011

But the Dillon who had held her, who’d been helping her since she washed up on his beach was still the man she knew, the man she’d fallen in love with all those years ago…

Dillon was acting kinda strange today, she thought, sort of nervous as he stood there fidgeting with his tie, asking her if she’d like to go have dinner.
“Of course I’d like to go have dinner,” she told him smiling. “It’s not like you have to ask. What’s up?”
He stuck his hands in his pockets. “Nothing, I just wanted to make sure.”
This was all too weird. “Okay. Where to?”
“I was sort of thinking, maybe we could go to Delmonico’s.”
Delmonico’s was a five star ritzy establishment where the waiters carried linen over their arm, and the wine list was the length of a football field. “What’s the occasion?”
“I just thought you deserved something nicer than a pizza joint.”
She leaned over and kissed him, not quite sure what to make of this, but happy all the same. “Give me five minutes.”
She was ready in ten, and by the time they left she could have sworn Dillon was coming down with something. His hands were clammy, his face pale, and he could barely concentrate on keeping the car on the road.
By the time they pulled up in front of the restaurant, she was nearly as pale as him. “You sure you’re okay? You seem a little out of it.”
“No, no. I’m fine. Just fine.”
Another thought struck her and she asked, “What about reservations? This place books up months in advance. We can’t just go walking in--”
“It’s all taken care of.”
He came around to her side of the car, helped her out, and ushered her inside. A riot of color and fragrance smacked her senses. Flowers were everywhere. On every table, in huge urns on the floor, wrapped around banisters, pretty much covering every surface she saw.
Candles glowed softly under glass. Music played discreetly in the background. And an ice sculpture of a turreted castle sat in the middle of a champagne moat, next to a large photo of her and Dillon.
The more she looked around the more she realized this wasn’t some spur of the moment dinner date.
She’d been set up.
Walking further into the room, she noticed that the dinner patrons weren’t strangers. Every face looked familiar. She was surrounded by family and friends, and growing more curious by the second, she turned toward Dillon.
Smiling, and looking less pale, he led her to a chair and as he sat her down, whispered, “If the measure of joy is thee, Milady, I am riches beyond realm.” Then he got down on one knee, reached over, grasped a crystal slipper off the table, and looked her right in the eye. “You’re my life, Sara. Will you marry me?” He handed her the slipper and inside, sitting on a bed of rose petals was a diamond solitaire nestled against a Royal Claddagh ring...

by Katie Bryan on August 21st, 2011

This is a photo of my dad long before I was born. This picture was taken during WWII (1942) with my sisters, Ginger and Donna.

My dad came over from Greece as Evangelos Alexaki and changed his name to Donald Alex Lucas to be more "American". Everything he did was for God, Country, and Family. It's what he believed and how he lived.

I miss you, Dad.

by Katie Bryan on August 21st, 2011

If this doesn't speak to your heart, you need a new heart : )

by Katie Bryan on August 21st, 2011

by Katie Bryan on August 21st, 2011

In case you've forgotten what it means, here's a refresher by one of my favorite people.

by Katie Bryan on August 20th, 2011

by Katie Bryan on August 20th, 2011

by Katie Bryan on August 20th, 2011

Taps is usually played with a bugle. This version uses bagpipes. Both are haunting.

Here's the story of Taps...

Of all the military bugle calls, none is so easily recognized or more apt to render emotion than Taps. Up to the Civil War, the traditional call at day's end was a tune, borrowed from the French, called Lights Out. In July of 1862, in the aftermath of the bloody Seven Days battles, hard on the loss of 600 men and wounded himself, Union General Daniel Adams Butterfield called the brigade bugler to his tent. He thought "Lights Out" was too formal and he wished to honor his men. Oliver Wilcox Norton, the bugler, tells the story, "...showing me some notes on a staff written in pencil on the back of an envelope, (he) asked me to sound them on my bugle. I did this several times, playing the music as written. He changed it somewhat, lengthening some notes and shortening others, but retaining the melody as he first gave it to me. After getting it to his satisfaction, he directed me to sound that call for Taps thereafter in place of the regulation call. The music was beautiful on that still summer night and was heard far beyond the limits of our Brigade. The next day I was visited by several buglers from neighboring Brigades, asking for copies of the music which I gladly furnished. The call was gradually taken up through the Army of the Potomac."

This more emotive and powerful Taps was soon adopted throughout the military. In 1874 It was officially recognized by the U.S. Army. It became standard at military funeral ceremonies in 1891. There is something singularly beautiful and appropriate in the music of this wonderful call. Its strains are melancholy, yet full of rest and peace. Its echoes linger in the heart long after its tones have ceased to vibrate in the air.

- from an article by Master Sergeant Jari A Villanueva, USAF.

by Katie Bryan on August 20th, 2011

The Medal of Honor is America's highest decoration for military valor. Over the years, many who have received the medal have given their lives in the action that earned it. The name of Petty Officer Michael Anthony Monsoor will now be among them.

During Petty Officer Mike Monsoor's funeral in San Diego, as Mike's coffin was being moved from the hearse to the grave site at Ft. Rosecrans National Cemetery, SEALs were lined up on both sides of the pallbearers route forming a column of two's with the coffin moving up the center. As Mike's coffin passed, each SEAL, having removed his gold Trident from his uniform, slapped it down embedding the Trident in the wooden coffin; the slaps were audible from across the cemetery; by the time the coffin arrived grave side, it looked as though it had a gold inlay from all the Tridents pinned to it.

At the reception afterwards, the SEALS were easily identified among the other military guests because they had a stack of valor ribbons with pin holes above where their Naval Special Warfare Device or Trident had been.

Mike's FuneralHERE.

Read about Mike Monsoor HERE.

You can see Mike's tribute HERE.

Next Posts ▶


My Social Media

follow on
follow on
follow on
follow on
follow on
follow on
follow on

no categories